Life's Lessons
by Cincinnatus C
Summary: Jounouchi can't find any meaning in life anymore and now he's just sinking. Sometimes, though, the only time you can soar up into the sky and chase infinity is right after you hit rock bottom. SJ [COMPLETED]
1. Corruption

Title: How much is a smile worth?  
  
Author: Cincinnatusc6  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing(s): Jounouchi/Kaiba  
  
Spoilers: no, not really  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the YuGiOh universe. Duh. Oh, and as a personal disclaimer--excuse--something--in the dance scene: I know nothing about dancing, in fact I look like a total idiot when I do dance, so if that explains anything, well, there you go. Clearly, not only am I bad at dancing, but I also can't explain a damned thing. Go figure. ;)  
  
Summary: All Jounouchi wants to do is sink into the ground and disappear forever--but he can't let his friends see. He can't let anyone see. He feels useless and somehow life, consciousness, and sanity all seem to spiral away. Kaiba's cruelty doesn't help either. When Yugi & co face a new enemy Jounouchi thinks that he finally understands why he's alive and Kaiba learns that sometimes, you don't realize how important something is to you until it's gone.  
  
BTW--Scooby snack for whoever knows the author for the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. And no cheating! That's just lame.  
  
CHAPTER ONE: CORRUPTION   
"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault"  
  
A tall, bony looking man handed over a wad of bills to a woman dressed in a business suit. She eyed him and the cash a little disdainfully but took it anyway. She handed him a stack of papers.  
  
"Why on earth would you want all this information on a bunch of kids all the way over in Japan?" she asked.  
  
"_That_ is none of your business," the man hissed.  
  
---  
  
Mr. Jounouchi sat hunched over a small desk stacked with papers. He was muttering to himself and sifting through the stacks, reading various pieces of paper extremely carefully and throwing others out of his way. He sighed and rubbed his temples with his index fingers.  
  
"Dad? Ya doin' ok?" Jou asked, peeking his head in.  
  
"No. Dese bills--I dunno what we're gonna do. My job jus' don't pay enough. If you could jus' get a job... But dat's not... I'm sorry, Jou, I know yer tryin'. I 'm jus' so... tired."  
  
Jou looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, dad. I'll--I'll try harder."  
  
"I know you're tryin' Jou. Don't worry, some people jus'...have a harder time dan others. You'll git goin' someday."  
  
Jou nodded slowly and crept out of his father's small bedroom and into his own.  
  
---  
  
Thousands of miles away, the man was reading a file on Katsuya Jounouchi and smiling. "This little fool won't be a problem," the man said, a cruel expression twisting his face. He moved on to Ryou Bakura.  
  
---  
  
"So Jou, are you coming to the dance tonight?" Anzu asked as she slid into the seat across from him and next to Yugi in the school cafeteria.  
  
"Oh, uh... I was gonna-"  
  
"Jou, come on! You're the only person who can dance! I don't want to spend ALL night teaching Yugi and Ryou," Yugi's pout didn't even make her pause, "and trying to keep Honda from making too much of an ass out of himself." Yugi and Jou chuckled.  
  
"I--I need to look fer a job," Jou replied after a moment's hesitation.  
  
"How about we help you look for jobs this afternoon and then you come with us to the dance?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
---  
  
"Damn it, everyone wants 'experience!' How da hell am I supposed ta get experience if no one'll hire me!" Jounouchi growled. Anzu shrugged and Yugi looked up at him sympathetically. "How'd you get yer job, Anzu?"  
  
"I don't know, I just turned in the application. It wasn't that hard, really."  
  
Jounouchi sighed.  
  
---  
  
"Hehehe, Yug, yer gonna hafta move yer ass a _little_." Yugi blushed.  
  
"Jou's right. Oh, come on!" Anzu laughed as she grabbed Yugi's hips and moved it for him. She laughed as Yugi turned even more red. Ryou was actually doing quite well, but Yugi was so embarassed that his movements seemed stilted.  
  
A girl with a tight pink tube top, black miniskirt, and painfully high heels walked towards them. Anzu scowled.  
  
"Who-" Yugi started before she pushed him aside. She stood in front of Jounouchi and looked him up and down, smirking. "You're pretty good, and kinda cute. What the hell are you doing with a nerdy bitch like Anzu?" Jounouchi stood still for a moment in confusion as he registered the statement. Suddenly, his eyes flashed.   
  
"Who da hell do you tink you are? I you weren't a girl, why, I'd-"  
  
Anzu grabbed him arm and interrupted him, "Jou, she's not worth getting worked up over."  
  
Jounouchi stopped yelling but continued to glare. The girl sneered and walked away. "What the hell crawled up her ass and died?" Jounouchi asked.  
  
Anzu shrugged. "She's just jealous because she's a terrible dancer."  
  
Jou grinned. "Let's go make her crazy jealous then!" He pulled Anzu towards the center of the dance floor, where the more experienced dancers were. They giggled as they passed the girl and she gave them a glare. After a moment of getting themselves into the music, they started dancing for real.  
  
They moved against eachother, around--Jounouchi even picked Anzu up and swung her around a bit. They were having a blast. The dance got more and more sexual, their hips grinding together, as they watched the bitch turn red with anger. Jou laughed--the girl no doubt thought he and Anzu were together. Oh, the irony. The reason he liked dancing with Anzu was because there was absolutely nothing between them but friendship. She was head over heels in love with Yugi, and never even thought about other guys--as crazy as that seems--and Jounouchi... well he liked someone else too.  
  
He realized with a start that a circle was forming around them. He winked at Anzu and did a perfect backflip. She laughed and did the splits, then jumped up and twisted around in a way that Jounouchi couldn't quite figure out--and judging from the gasps, no one else could either. As the song was about to end she jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his waist, sticking her arms up in the air in a dramatic pose. As people started dancing again, Jounouchi twirled her around. She screamed and hit him on the head. "Put me down!"  
  
She suddenly got her wish when Jounouchi noticed one person who was still staring intently at them--glaring, in fact. He dropped her, and after a second of staring perplexedly at a pair of startlingly blue eyes, he looked down and cringed. Anzu was staring up at him reproachfully.  
  
"Sorry," he said as he offered her his hand. She shrugged and grabbed it.  
  
"That's ok, Jou. I know you didn't mean to. After all, friends-"  
  
"No way! Yugi may put up wit' dat friendship speech stuff 'cause he worships da ground you walk on, but I'm not a patient guy!"  
  
Anzu blushed. "You really think Yugi..."  
  
Jounouchi rolled his eyes. "Duh."  
  
"And by the way... YOU JERK!" she yelled playfully, hitting him on the head. "What distracted you anyway?"  
  
"Uh..." Jounouchi's eyes darted towards the cold CEO who had been watching them dance--who was still watching them actually--"nothing," he answered quickly. Anzu didn't buy it and looked where he had been looking.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I noticed him glaring too. You think he felt bad because he can't dance? He's just been standing there for the whole dance. Even though I can't stand the guy, I do feel sort of sorry for him."  
  
"Mmm," Jounouchi mumbled noncommittally.  
  
They reached the group, where Yugi and Ryou were standing and Honda was sitting with some ice pressed against his cheek. "Someone finally slap ya?" Jounouchi asked, grinning. Honda glared. Jounouchi shrugged and glanced around at his friends. Ryou was quietly drinking some punch. Yugi looked a little upset, but Jounouchi couldn't think why.Anzu was blushing.   
  
She suddenly grabbed Yugi's hand. "Come on, dance with me." Yugi looked shocked for a moment then smiled shyly. "O-ok," he stuttered. Jou plopped down next to Honda.  
  
"So, I assume you noticed Kaiba trying to blast you two to the shadow realm with that Ra damned glare of his?"  
  
Jou looked curiously at Ryou--his voice sounded... oh. "Bakura?"  
  
"The one and only. So?"  
  
"Yeah. Anzu says she thinks he's jealous because he can't dance." Honda started laughing. "What?" Jou asked.  
  
"You should-" Honda's sentence was cut off by laughter "-you should offer to teach him to dance. I would love to see the look on his face!"   
  
Jounouchi looked at him strangely. After a second, he grinned.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Honda coughed. "What?" he asked incredulously. "Do you have a death wish or something?"  
  
Jounouchi smiled and answered "maybe" before sauntering off towards Kaiba.  
  
If Jou didn't know better, he'd think Kaiba had fallen asleep with his eyes open the way he didn't seem to move a nanometer despite the fact that Jounouchi was obviously heading straight towards him. As the blond boy languidly leaned against the wall beside him, Kaiba continued glaring out at the dance floor without acknowledging Jounouchi's presence.  
  
"So, what're ya doin' here, Moneybags?"  
  
"Don't call me that. Mokuba," Kaiba replied, still not looking at the other boy.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Don't call me Moneybags, Mutt. And I'm here because Mokuba begged me to 'go and have a bit of fun,' as he calls it. Otherwise I would never waste my time with such an utterly ludicrous, juvenile undertaking."  
  
"Ouch. Ya know, you'd have more fun if you danced."  
  
"I don't dance."  
  
"Don't? Does that mean won't or can't?"  
  
"You choose one."  
  
Jounouchi grinned. "'K, I choose can't. Would you like me to teach ya?"  
  
Kaiba's head snapped to face him. "What did you just say?"  
  
"I offered ta teach ya how ta dance," Jounouchi said, readying himself to bolt if Kaiba decided to excoriate him--literally.  
  
Kaiba stared at him. Jounounouchi began to get a little uncomfortable under that intense gaze. He reached up to scratch the back of his head and was about to walk away when Kaiba said "fine."  
  
Jounouchi's jaw dropped. "Wha?"  
  
"You made an offer which I accepted. Are you really too stupid to understand that, mutt?"  
  
"No, I got it, Richie Rich."  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"Well, don't call me mutt."  
  
"All right." Jounouchi stared at Kaiba in disblief. "Puppy," the taller boy added. Jounouchi ground his teeth together in frustration.  
  
He shook his head and looked at Kaiba. "Well, yer gonna hafta start by loosening up." Kaiba cocked an eyebrow up at him. "You know, just... feel the beat a little. Yer too rigid. Just, like--move yer head a little to the beat. Ya gotta match the beat, that's number one."  
  
Kaiba didn't move. Jounouchi glared at him. Kaiba smirked and said "why don't you show me how to do the stuff you and that girl were doing."  
  
"You really think yer up fer the splits? Hell, even I stop there!"  
  
Kaiba glared and moved closer to Jounouchi. "Before that."  
  
"You mean like... ummm... well it's kinda--supposed to be... uh... for, like, a girl and a guy. 'Cause it's... hell, you saw it!" Jounouchi exclaimed, blushing.  
  
"It's kind of what?" Kaiba asked deviously.  
  
"Uh... nothing."  
  
"So you'll teach me."  
  
"Uh... I... uh... I guess..." Jounouchi nervously moved closer to Kaiba. "Actually, maybe it's good, it's really pretty simple. Just... uh... move back and forth. Anzu and I were doing dis ting where ya sorta let it travel up ya like a wave, but for now we'll just go back and forth to the rhythm. Uh... so if we were really--you would, uh, get up right next to-" Jounouchi squeeked as Kaiba pressed his body against the other boy's.  
  
"Like this?" he whispered. Jounouchi nodded his head numbly. "Now what?"  
  
"We... move," Jounouchi answered, blushing. He began to rock his hips against Kaiba's, who followed suit. Jounouchi tried to think of something, anything to say to distract himself from how incredibly hot Kaiba was. They were close enough that Kaiba would feel it if Jounouchi started to get aroused.  
  
Of course, Jounouchi would also feel it if Kaiba started to get aroused. And he did. Jounouchi blushed, but Kaiba didn't seem to care, in fact his expression was somehow daring Jounouchi to protest. Jounouchi felt himself growing hard. He was about to pull away but Kaiba grabbed his ass, keeping the blond boy pressed against his body. Kaiba smirked.  
  
Jounouchi struggled but Kaiba held him tightly and pinned him up against the wall. "What-What're ya doin'?" Jounouchi asked nervously.   
  
Kaiba grinned sadistically and pressed his body against Jounouchi's. He brought his mouth to the other boy's ear and whispered "Are you really that stupid, Mutt? I'm taking what I want." Jounouchi didn't have a chance to respond as Kaiba captured hs lips, absolutely plundering every last crevice in his mouth. Jounouchi couldn't suppress the low moan that ripped through his body. He suddenly noticed that Kaiba was dragging him towards the nearest exit.  
  
"Where are you taking me?" Jounouchi asked. Kaiba didn't answer. They reached a silver Audi TT Roadster (Authoress drools) and Kaiba shoved Jounouchi in. "Hold it Kaiba, I'm not a-" Jounouchi stopped and tried to open the door. It was locked. He turned frightened eyes to Kaiba. "Let me out."   
  
"No."  
  
Kaiba turned the key in the ignition and sped away.  
  
---  
  
Anzu and Yugi returned to Honda and Ryou--who had told his spirit to keep his mouth shut and stay inside the ring. They were both giggling. Yugi looked around curiously. "Where'd Jou go?" He asked.  
  
'You wouldn't believe it. We were talking about Kaiba and I said something about Jounouchi teaching him to dance--as a joke. Well, Jou actually goes over and does it, and I guess Kaiba said yes because they're over there now practically fucking eachother."  
  
"What?" Yugi squawked.  
  
"I think they're fighting! Kaiba just pushed Jou up against a wall and--oh my God, he's dragging Jou towards the exit!" Anzu yelled and started to head towards them through the writhing mass of teenagers.  
  
"What?" Honda yelled and followed her. A moment later Yugi and Ryou followed.  
  
By the time they got out Kaiba and Jounouchi were already gone.  
  
---  
  
"Get out of the car."  
  
"No!" Jounouchi yelled.  
  
Kaiba opened the car door and pulled the other boy out forcefully. Jounouchi tried to run but Kaiba had a firm grip on him. Kaiba smirked, but Jounouchi couldn't see the cruel expression on his face as the taller boy was behind him. Kaiba leaned forward and once again whispered "Just come in for a drink... Katsuya." Jounouchi's eyes widened. Kaiba opened his arms so that Jou could run if he wanted to.  
  
Jounouchi looked down at his feet. He should go back, go home, go anywhere but here, but... he wanted to stay. He wanted to see what Kaiba was planning. He wanted Kaiba. And he was never one to put logic before his impulses. Anyway, what harm could there be in just having a drink?  
  
"Just a drink?" Jounouchi asked, eyeing Kaiba warily as the taller boy nodded. Jounouchi followed Kaiba into the mansion.  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi was sitting on an enormous bed in a gargantuan room. It was gorgeous, elegant, and totally not Jounouchi's style. It was too formal and too clean. He felt horribly out of place, and the fact that Kaiba had brought him into his bedroom instead of a living room or something... it made him nervous. He jumped as as Kaiba entered carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. "We can't drink _that_! We-we're underage!" he squeeked.  
  
Kaiba looked at him. "You've never had alcohol before?" he asked.  
  
"That's not the point!" Kaiba smirked but didn't answer, instead pouring them both full glasses. "You're trying to get me drunk!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Jounouchi swallowed nervously as Kaiba handed him a glass. Kaiba lifted his glass and Jounouchi nervously did the same, then they both drank.  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"I already told you." Kaiba hissed. Jounouchi stared at him blankly. "I want you. When I want something, I take it."  
  
"But... why me? Don't you... hate me?"  
  
"No." Kaiba paused. "I suppose that's part of your appeal. You're so innocent, you have no idea how sexy you are."  
  
Jounouchi blushed and took another sip of wine. He studied the room around him, avoiding Kaiba's eyes. He knew he shouldn't be drinking, but he didn't know what else to do. He felt terribly awkward. When he finished his glass, Kaiba went to refill it. Jounouchi shook his head groggily.  
  
"I--I should go." Kaiba ignored him and refilled it. Jounouchi was about to take a sip but suddenly shook his head and put the glass down on a table. "No, I-I'm going. I have to, I can't..." he trailed off. Jounouchi got up and walked, a little off balance, towards the door. That wine was extreme. Kaiba grabbed his waist.  
  
"Yes, you can. I know you want me too. Take a chance."  
  
Jounouchi turned around and looked Kaiba in the eyes. That was his mistake. Jounouchi had always loved those eyes. He silently allowed Kaiba to pull him to the bed and push him down onto it.  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi and Kaiba lay next to eachother, panting. Jounouchi had been a virgin--Kaiba could tell. He didn't really understand how he felt about it. He should be proud that he could not only trick the fool into sleeping with him, but also into giving up his virginity--but he wasn't. He felt a little sick. He got out of bed and stretched.  
  
Jounouchi sat up. He fiddled with a blanket nervously. "What--what does this mean?" he asked.  
  
Kaiba stared at him coldly. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Are we... in some kind of...you know...relationship?"  
  
Kaiba laughed. "And why the hell would I want to have any kind of relationship with a worthless dog like you?"  
  
"You said you didn't hate me," Jounouchi stated.  
  
"I don't. I don't respect you enough to hate you. I despise you."  
  
"Oh." Jounouchi whispered, his voice empty. Kaiba glared at him. He had been expecting tears or anger. Instead, Jounouchi just avoided his gaze and quietly gathered up his clothes, then put them on not bothering to hide any part of his body from Kaiba, who watched him shamelessly.  
  
Kaiba smirked, admiring Jounouchi's beautiful body. "If you ever want another go, mutt-"  
  
"I won't," Jounouchi interrupted hollowly before he slowly walked out of the room.  
  
Kaiba frowned. Why, precisely, did it feel like someone was squeezing his chest? He stood up and walked to a window, where he watched the blond boy walk out of the Kaiba mansion, out the gate, and out of sight. Why did this hurt? Seto Kaiba wasn't supposed to feel pain, so why was he hurting? This did not make sense. 


	2. Peril

Title: How much is a smile worth?  
  
Author: Cincinnatusc6  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing(s): Jounouchi/Kaiba  
  
Spoilers: nope  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the YuGiOh universe. Duh.   
  
Summary: All Jounouchi wants to do is sink into the ground and disappear forever--but he can't let his friends see. He can't let anyone see. He feels useless and somehow life, consciousness, and sanity all seem to spiral away. Kaiba's cruelty doesn't help either. When Yugi & co face a new enemy Jounouchi thinks that he finally understands why he's alive and Kaiba learns that sometimes, you don't realize how important something is to you until it's gone.  
  
CHAPTER TWO: PERIL "Those who go beneath the surface do so at their own peril."  
  
The man stepped into an airplane headed for Domino City. All he had was the suit he was wearing, a fat wallet, and a strange metal plate that was covered with ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics and adorned by an enormous purple gem at its center.  
  
---  
  
"Katsuya, some friends of yours are here to see you," Jounouchi's father said, leaning his head into his son's room. Jounouchi was still in bed even though it was past noon. "They look worried," his father continued, "and they asked if you were here. Where else would you be?" he chuckled.  
  
Jounouchi blushed and stood up. God damn his ass hurt. He limped down the hallway and out into the kitchen, where Yugi, Anzu, Honda, and Ryou were sitting. Jounouchi heard the back door opening--his father was probably going out to read. Jounouchi avoided looking into his friends' faces and instead poured himself a glass of milk. There was an extremely uncomfortable silence. Finally, unable to take it, Jounouchi said "did you guys have fun?"  
  
"Why are you limping?" Anzu asked. Jounouchi blushed again and didn't answer. His friends looked at eachother.  
  
"Jou, you didn't..." Yugi trailed off. There was more silence.  
  
"You idiot! What the hell did you do?" Honda yelled.  
  
"Yeah, I was--am an idiot! We had sex, ok, completely meanin'less sex wit' no attachments and no future! He fucked me up da ass until I tought I was gonna rip in half and then he kicked me out onto da street and I never even tought dere could be anyting more but I did it anyway! Is dat what you want, guys? Are ya happy now?" he hissed, tears falling down his cheeks. His friends stared at him in shock. "I'm a complete idiot, I know, I just... neveh do anyting right..."  
  
"Jou-" Yugi choked out, tears threatening to leak out of his eyes as well. He touched Jounouchi's shoulder but the blond boy shook his hand off.  
  
"Would you guys get outta here, I wanna be alone."  
  
"But Jou, why?" Ryou asked, completely perplexed.  
  
"GET OUT!" Jou screamed wildly, enraged. His friends took a step back. "GET OUT, JUS' LEAVE ME DA HELL ALONE!" Jou tore off into his room and turned his music up all the way so that he could barely hear his friends furiously knocking on his door and shouting for him to come out. When he left his room an hour later they were gone.  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi took the portable phone into his room and after a moment's hesitation, dialed a number.  
  
"Hello?" he heard at the other end of the line.  
  
"Shizuka?"  
  
"No, Katsuya, this is your mother."  
  
Jounouchi flinched. "Can I talk ta Shizuka?"  
  
"No, Jounouchi, we've already discussed this. You know I'm grateful about the money... although..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I've been thinking about it, and you really shouldn't think it entitles you to anything. It wasn't your money after all, you didn't win. It was your friend's."  
  
"I--I know, ma, but... I, I jus' wanna talk ta her."  
  
"Katsuya, I'm sorry, but I worry about your influence on her. And it's not just your grades or your blatant disrespect for authority--yes, I know your grades have been improving--but... you make very poor decisions Katsuya. Shizuka has a bright future. I know you care about her and you don't want to ruin that future--she's spent enough time chasing you around and watching your 'duels' as it is."  
  
"Ok, ma," Jounouchi answered sadly. "Bye."  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi really didn't want to go to school. He didn't want to face Kaiba and his friends but more importantly, he was finding it hard to care. If it had just been that he was going to feel uncomfortable with facing them all, he would have sucked it up and gone. He wasn't a coward. He just couldn't think of one reason to go, and he could think of several reasons not to. Jounouchi curled into a little ball, pulled the covers over his head, and went to sleep.  
  
If he dreamed at all, he couldn't remember it later.  
  
---  
  
"Perfect," the man whispered as he glanced at the huge, dusty room of the old factory. Broken machines, long past being recognizable as anything but huge chunks of metal, made an intricate pattern on the floor, almost like a maze. He began writing symbols on the ground in a large empty space towards the center of the large room. He used a thick black dye that seemed to have a hint of red where the light shined on it. As he worked, his laugh rang through the old factory, echoing off the walls.  
  
---  
  
Kaiba felt the urge to look at Jounouchi's empty desk again. He had known the fool would be upset, why was it bothering him now? No, it wasn't bothering him. He didn't care that Jounouchi hadn't come to school. He didn't. That sinking feeling in his stomach must have been something he ate. And the longing to see Jounouchi... he missed the sex. It was just the sex, nothing more. He didn't feel anything for that stupid mutt except sexual desire.  
  
Yugi was looking at him. No, it was the other one. Yami. Anzu and Honda were glaring at him periodically as well. Ryou mostly looked at Jounouchi's chair but occasionally his eyes flickered to where Kaiba sat.   
  
So what if they knew? Jounouchi had chosen to sleep with him, it wasn't Kaiba's fault.  
  
But if it wasn't Kaiba's fault, why did it hurt?   
  
---  
  
"Kaiba."  
  
Kaiba turned around to face the ancient pharaoh. "Yes, Yami?" he asked politely, smirking.  
  
"What you did was unacceptable. I spared you before for Mokuba's sake, he won't save you this time!"  
  
Kaiba laughed. "I had no idea I had gotten under your skin so much, Yami. I suppose I have a thicker hide, I would never bother killing you."  
  
"This isn't a laughing matter! You listen to me-"  
  
"No," Kaiba rasped harshly, a surprising amount of emotion in his voice, "I didn't do anything wrong. I never told him I would consider having a relationship with a piece of trash like him and even the stupidest lout could figure out that I'm not the most likely candidate for such a position. He made the choice. You're going to kill me--_kill_ me--for that?" Yami didn't answer. "What, did he tell you I raped him? No, I know him better than that. Your friend did something stupid and now you want to punish someone and make it go away. Fools." Kaiba walked forward.  
  
As he brushed past Yami, the spirit asked "can it really be that you feel nothing? How is it that you can hurt another so and yet feel nothing?"  
  
Kaiba laughed, but he didn't really find what Yami had said funny. He laughed to chase away that sinking feeling, that hole, that invisible hand gripping his chest. He laughed to chase those pesky "feelings" off into the void where he had always pushed them before.  
  
---  
  
"Jou... your dad let us in. He said you were feeling sick. Jou?" Yugi asked the boy underneath the covers. He didn't answer. Yugi looked at Anzu, Honda, and Ryou questioningly. Ryou stepped up and gently shook Jou. He didn't move. Ryou looked at Yugi and shrugged. Honda grabbed the cover and pulled it down. Jounouchi looked at them.  
  
"Go away."  
  
"No," Honda answered.  
  
"It was worth a try," Jounouchi sighed, turning over until he faced the wall.  
  
Anzu sat down at the foot of his bed. "Jou, you have to talk to us." Jou laughed. "What?" she asked. Jou didn't answer.   
  
"We just want to help you Jou," Ryou said.  
  
After a moment's hesitation, Anzu added "we're--we're not mad at you if that's what you think."  
  
"Don't worry about dat, I know yer not."  
  
"Then why won't you talk to us?" Honda asked. Jounouchi didn't answer.  
  
"Jou, why won't you--we're so worried about you! Please-" Yugi began sobbing. Jounouchi suddenly sat up and turned toward his short friend.  
  
He touched Yugi's face. "It would make ya feel better if I went to school, played duel monsters, lived... normally? Dat would make ya happy?"  
  
"Jou--I--I want you to feel better, feel normal."  
  
"All right," Jou answered softly, smoothly--indifferently. "I'm gonna take a shower, should I meet ya all at da game shop in half an hour?"  
  
"Jou?" Yugi asked, confused by his friend's behavior.  
  
"I'm going ta try, Yug'. Dat's all I can promise ya."  
  
The four friends stood for a moment in silence after Jounouchi left. They heard the shower turn on. "Maybe... we should wait for him?" Ryou hesitantly put forth.  
  
"Yeah, I think we should," Anzu said.  
  
Yugi, deeply troubled, watched the door that his blond friend had walked out of. He didn't understand at all what was going on in Jounouchi's head.  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi turned his face towards the shower head, letting the water drip down his skin. His friends would probably wait for him. He'd have to work hard to convince them that he was really trying to... what? Be happy? Yes, they would want that. Happy and well-adjusted. He'd have to go to school, play games... smile. He could do that. He didn't really care about any of that anymore, but he couldn't let them worry about him. He wasn't worth it. He was completely useless. It wouldn't matter if he were dead--in fact, it would be better because his friends wouldn't have to worry about one more mass of flesh.  
  
---  
  
The man was furious. A damn rat had destroyed hours of work by running across the still wet symbols he had painted on the ground. However, despite his frustration, he had to admit he was enjoying dissecting the thing alive. He had to be very careful not to kill the damned thing. What would be the fun if it couldn't feel pain?  
  
---  
  
Kaiba hated emotions.   
  
Jounouchi had returned to school and was acting fairly normal, perhaps the only change being that he would occasionally become lost in his own thoughts, staring far away with hollow, passionless eyes. It was to be expected that he wouldn't be better immediately, but no doubt Jounouchi would be completely better in a few weeks.  
  
Kaiba should have been feeling better. That horrible, dirty feeling--guilt, he had finally admitted--should have been gone. Well, a fair portion of it was... but now there was something else too. Sadness perhaps, or regret. He had actually enjoyed the fact that Jounouchi had given himself willingly, that it had been his first time--enjoyed it because it made him feel important to Jounouchi. Kaiba hadn't been willing to admit it before, but now that he knew he wasn't really that important to the other boy, he had to acknowledge the loss of this same sense of importance. He liked the idea that Jounouchi genuinely wanted him, maybe even cared about him. He was beginning to understand these feelings. He had actually always had them, but his will had been stronger. He had pushed them away, except those concerning Mokuba. Mokuba was easy, Kaiba's feelings concerning his brother weren't confusing. But these feelings about Jounouchi--they were confusing and too strong to push away, to hide, to ignore.  
  
And something else was bothering him. The happiness he had felt knowing Jounouchi had feelings for him... it was good. He liked it. It didn't make him feel weak, it had made him feel strong. He was starting to wonder if his system of ignoring his own emotions--a system that in many ways defined him as a person--was really necessary.  
  
---  
  
The spells were in place. He had even placed traps around the factory in case anyone decided to sneak in the wrong way. The man took out old fashioned parchment and a calligraphy pen. He wrote four letters, each a lie.  
  
---  
  
"Katsuya, dere's a letter for ya in da mail."  
  
Jou looked at his father curiously, then grabbed the letter. In beautiful, elaborate, elegant letters the name Katsuya Jounouchi was carefully printed across the front. Jounouchi opened it.  
  
_Your sister has been taken. If you want her to live, you will come to 612 Arias St. as soon as you get this letter._  
  
Jounouchi took off at the door, ignoring the questions his father yelled at his reatreating form.  
  
---  
  
Jounouchi hesitated for just a moment before opening the door to the old factory. As he stepped inside he heard it slam shut behind him. He strode forward. There were strange markings all over the floor. It was bizarre. "Shizuka?" he called. In a moment, he entered an open space with several figures. He was standing near Yugi, Honda, Anzu, Ryou, and Kaiba. Of course, both Yugi and Ryou seemed to be in their darker forms at the moment. Bakura was wrapped up in something--it looked rather like silly string to Jounouchi. On the farther side of the open space stood a man in a ragged suit. Jounouchi grimaced at the sight of the man's strangely pale skin and towering, emaciated form..  
  
"Where's Shizuka?" Jounouchi yelled after his quick examination of the situation.  
  
"Probably at home having tea with you mother."  
  
"What?" Jounouchi asked, extremely confused.  
  
"Who are you? Where is Yugi's Grandfather?" Yami asked the man.  
  
"Probably at a strip club!" The man laughed insanely. The teenagers glanced at eachother in confusion. A loud bang was heard and suddenly Mokuba was dragged in by a set of chains around his wrists. "Well, it looks like one of my letters was actually true!" The man cackled.  
  
"I-I saw the letter and I was going to tell you that I... wasn't kidnapped..." Mokuba gasped.  
  
Suddenly, Bakura spoke up. "I remember you."  
  
The man sneered. "You would, thief."  
  
"Who is he?" Yami asked.  
  
"I am the son of a noble man and woman whom you mercilessly slaughtered. I have spent the last four thousand years gaining the power to destroy you for what you did to them."  
  
"In Egypt they defiled the temple and according to law, you had to execute them. I knew them--they had no art, no flair. The maggots of the underworld," Bakura added boredly, despite the fact that he was apparently incapacited by whatever the stuff was that was wrapped around him.   
  
"How dare you!" the man hissed, then suddenly smiled. "But you will pay."  
  
Kaiba snarled and pulled out a gun. "None of us will pay for anything, you crazy moron." He fired at the man's head. The bullet seemed to hit something and then floated down to the ground.  
  
"You didn't think I'd be here without protection, did you? Now, to business. You see that Mash-ra-tha?"  
  
"Huh?" Honda asked.  
  
"The plate," Bakura supplied.  
  
"Yes, yes, well it's essentially a bomb. When I say the incantation it will explode, killing you all!"  
  
Yami frowned. "This is between you and me, why-"  
  
"An eye for an eye--an edict older even than you and I!" The man cackled again.   
  
"Who are you, Dr. Seuss?" Anzu asked incredulously.  
  
The man ignored her, still glaring at Yami. "You took away my parents, I shall take your friends!" He screamed, his eyes growing until they seemed ready to pop out of his head.Kaiba, who had looked rather contemplative a moment before, pointed his gun at the stone in the plate.The man laughed again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you! The magical backlash will kill you! Are you prepared to take that risk?" The man's voice spiraled up in pitch, becoming rather ridiculous. Kaiba hesitated.  
  
Jounouchi didn't. In one swift, surprisingly graceful motion he grabbed a large metal part from some machine and ran to the Mash-ra-tha. He raised the makeshift club above his head. There was a moment of shock and the only person who could find a voice was Honda.  
  
"What the hell are you doing Jou?"  
  
Jounouchi smiled and looked up. "Being useful."  
  
He brought the hunk of metal crashing down onto the gem, which shattered into millions of sparkling pieces. They blew out, several slashing Jounouchi's skin, before being pulled back together and drifting softly back onto the plate, where they covered up the Egyptian symbols. A bright light burst forth from where the gem had been, blinding all the onlookers. When they could see again, Jounouchi's body was lying on the floor and the strange man was trying to slink away.  
  
Bakura had somehow freed himself from his binding and ran to catch the insane man. Yugi, who had apparently taken control of the body again, stepped slowly towards Jounouchi but didn't make it. He collapsed onto his knees, shaking and sobbing. Anzu, also trembling with tears gushing down her cheeks, walked over to Yugi and hugged him. He put his arms around her as well. Suddenly, Honda yelled. The sound reverberated through the enormous room. He fell back against the machine behind him and sank to the floor. Mokuba felt hot tears searing his face. He grabbed his brother's hand despite then chains that still bound his own little hands and looked up at Kaiba's face. He stopped cold.  
  
"Big brother... you're crying."  
  
Everyone else in the room turned to stare at Kaiba. He looked at his brother, disbelief written across his face, but brought his hand up to his eyes anyway. He was surprised that he did indeed feel a warm, wet liquid on his skin. He shook his head angrily.  
  
"That bright light just irritated my eyes. Come on Mokuba, we're leaving." He grabbed the boy and pulled him out of the factory. As he walked out they could hear him murmur "damn idiot mutt."  
  
They sat in shocked silence. Then Bakura, who had already restrained the crazy man and then walked over to where Jounouchi lay, lazily said "He's not dead."  
  
"What?" Yugi asked as his head shot up.  
  
"He's breathing and he's got a pulse. Jou's not dead." Bakura walked back to the man, then slowly and deliberately put his foot on his neck. "Explain."  
  
"The man wriggled underneath him, turning red. He hoarsely whispered "I-I lied. I didn't think anyone would risk it, or I thought they'd at least hesitate long enough for me to finish the incantation."  
  
Bakura looked down at him. "He _did_ lie about the hostages. He's a pathetic little lying maggot, just like his parents."  
  
"Jou... Jou's not dead?" Yugi asked, hope almost spilling out of him. They all moved towards Jounouchi's unconscious body. Yugi dashed forward and hugged him.  
  
"I think we should get him to a hospital," Anzu said. The rest nodded in agreement, lifting him up and leaving Bakura to take care of the mess.  
  
--- --- ---  
  
You didn't think I could actually kill Jou, did you? You did? What kind of heartless monsters are you!!! Anyway, commentary on the chapter: I know the "plot" (dare I call it that?) is a little weak, but this is a story about emotions really, not the random obstacle I made up so that the story could move forward. The bad guy himself is rather silly, but the effect I was going for was the point where ridiculousness and tragedy merge. You know how sometimes when you're really sad you laugh instead of crying? Well, that happens to me, and that was what inspired his character. Gosh, y'all must think I'm off my rocker--I'll shut up now. 


	3. Art

Title: Life's Lessons   
_Ha--changed the title but didn't fix it in the first two chapters... oops. Both titles suck anyway :(_  
  
Author: Cincinnatus C.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing(s): Jounouchi/Kaiba, a little Yugi/Anzu  
  
Spoilers: no  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the YuGiOh universe. Duh.   
  
Summary: All Jounouchi wants to do is sink into the ground and disappear forever--but he can't let his friends see. He can't let anyone see. He feels useless and somehow life, consciousness, and sanity all seem to spiral away. Kaiba's cruelty doesn't help either. When Yugi & co face a new enemy Jounouchi thinks that he finally understands why he's alive and Kaiba learns that sometimes, you don't realize how important something is to you until it's gone.  
  
CHAPTER THREE: ART   
"All art is quite useless."  
  
Ouch. He hurt all over. That could only mean one thing. He was in hell. It wouldn't hurt in heaven. He opened his eyes. Yes, definitely hell--he hated hospitals. He closed his eyes again.  
  
"Jou?"  
  
Wait, that sounded like Yugi. Jounouchi opened his eyes and turned to face the source of the voice--who was, indeed, his little friend. Honda, Ryou, and Anzu were standing behind him. Jounouchi stared at him in confusion.  
  
"How are you feeling Jou?" Ryou asked.  
  
"I'm not in hell?"  
  
There was a collective silence, then Anzu said "you're not dead Jou, and even if you were you would never go to hell!"  
  
"Oh, I dunno. I am gay and I had sex before marriage, before datin' even," Jounouchi chuckled mirthlessly. Suddenly, his face turned serious, even a little pensive. "It hurts. I figured it wouldn'ta hurt in heaven."  
  
Yugi sniffled a little and hugged Jounouchi. "We were so worried, Jou!"  
  
"I'm sorry I worried ya, Yug," Jounouchi said softly.  
  
---  
  
Honda had taken Anzu to her work on his bike and Ryou had wandered off muttering that "Bakura was demanding 'entertainment,'" leaving Yugi and Jounouchi alone.  
  
They sat in silence for a fairly long time before Yugi spoke up.  
  
"We called your mom and dad--your dad stopped by but he had to go to work. Your mom... she said... what's going on between you and her?"  
  
"She tinks I'm my Pop and she can't stand him. She tinks I'm a bad influence on Shizuka. She tinks I can't do anyting right."  
  
"Is that why... when you said... what did you mean?" Jounouchi stared at his friend, not understanding what Yugi was asking. Yugi continued. "Before you destroyed... that thing, you said you were 'being useful.' What did you mean?"  
  
"I don't wanna talk about it."  
  
"Jou-"  
  
"Drop it, Yug," Jou said harshly. Yugi looked at his friend worriedly but moved on to other subjects anyway.  
  
---  
  
Jou had been out cold for two days--Friday and Saturday. He had spent Sunday recuperating, and now he had to go back to school. He didn't want to, but what was he supposed to tell his father? "Oh, sorry, can't go--almost got blown to bits by a magical plate?" His friends had offered to walk with him but Jounouchi had declined--he wanted some time to think before he got there.  
  
When he entered the school yard he expected everyone to start pointing and whispering. It took him a moment to remember that no one knew what had happened over the weekend or before, all they knew was that he had been sick last week. It was kind of early anyway, so not a lot of people were around. It was probably the first time Jounouchi hadn't squeeked in right before the bell--or right after, as often as not. He quietly made it to his first period class. As he was heading in, someone grabbed his arm. It was Kaiba, gripping him so hard that it hurt and staring at his face in disbelief.  
  
"Puppy?" he asked in wonderment.  
  
Jounouchi's eyebrows knitted together. "Don't tell me nobody told you?" Kaiba just stared at him. Jounouchi grew uncomfortable. "Um... well, as you see, I'm not dead." He laughed awkwardly.  
  
Suddenly, Kaiba's grip tightened even more. "You're a fool, you know," he hissed. Jounouchi was surprised at the venom in his voice, it was like he had attacked Mokuba or something.  
  
"Jeez, sorry, thought ya'd be glad not ta be dead! It shouldn't matter ta ya anyway, I'm jus' a useless mutt, right?" Jounouchi responded angrily. He pulled his arm out of Kaiba's grip.  
  
"Wait," Kaiba choked out. Jounouchi paused. There had been emotion in that word--pain. He turned around curiously.  
  
Kaiba opened his mouth, but couldn't say it. He couldn't say he was sorry, not to the mutt. He actually _wanted_ to, but he couldn't. After a moment of waiting, Jounouchi turned back around impatiently to enter the classroom. Suddenly, a group of unexpected words tumbled out of Kaiba's mouth.  
  
"I'm glad you're not dead," he whispered. Jounouchi paused and looked at him. After a moment's hesitation, he smiled. Kaiba felt a little wave of relief wash over him and smiled as well. Jounouchi finally walked into the classroom, a bemused smile fixed on his face. Kaiba followed, sitting in a desk several rows in front of Jounouchi.  
  
Jounouchi watched him sit down. He wasn't quite sure what to make of that encounter.  
  
---  
  
Later that day, Jounouchi sat in the cafeteria, smiling and picking at his "food."  
  
"What's up with you, Jou? You've been sitting around with this goofy grin on your face all day," Honda said as he sat down. Jounouchi tried to suppress his smile but couldn't. His friends watched this curious display.   
  
Jounouchi shook his head and blushed. "Nothing." His friends stared at him incredulously. "Uh... I dunno?" he said weakly. They continued to stare. Jounouchi blushed more deeply and glanced quickly at Kaiba, across the room. Kaiba was watching him steadily. Jounouchi grinned and buried his face in his arms.  
  
"What are you, an ostrich?" Ryou asked.  
  
Yugi, Anzu, and Honda stared at him.  
  
"What?" They continued to stare. "Oh, you know, an ostrich hides its head in the sand when it's scared, Jou was hiding his head in his arms... oh nevermind!"  
  
"Hey. Where'd Jou go?" Yugi asked.  
  
---  
  
About a week later, Jounouchi was tossing a little rubber ball at the wall and letting it bounce back repeatedly. He was bored. One would think he would be enjoying the fact that he wasn't dead, but he simply couldn't think of anything to do. Honda was trying to fix his motorcycle (and failing miserably), Ryou was finishing a big project, and Yugi and Anzu were going on a date--apparently he had asked her out while Jounouchi was unconscious. Go figure. Suddenly, he heard the doorbell ring.  
  
Jounouchi jumped up and raced to the door. When he opened it, the rubber ball fell out of his lifeless hand. His jaw dropped, leaving his mouth gaping open.  
  
It was Kaiba... holding an enormous bouquet of red roses. The two boys stood where they were, staring at eachother.  
  
"Water," Kaiba croaked.  
  
Jounouchi stared for another moment, then his eyes narrowed. "Ya mean ta tell me that ya just stopped 'ere 'cause yer thirsty?"  
  
Kaiba's eyes widened. "No! I--for the--for the roses. For you. They're for you." Kaiba jerkily thrust out his hands towards Jounouchi, whose expression softened immediately. He hesitantly reached out and took the flowers.  
  
"Ya...ya wanna come in?" he asked. Kaiba nodded slowly and followed him into what was apparently a kitchen. Jounouchi pulled out a stool and stepped onto it in order to reach into a high cabinet. Kaiba couldn't help but stare at his butt--his incredibly cute butt--as Jounouchi rooted around looking for something.  
  
"Why don't ya take a picture, it'll last longer," Jounouchi said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Of my ass. Aha! Here we go!" Jounouchi exclaimed, pulling out what appeared to be a beer pitcher. Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it's all I could think of, we don't got any vases," Jounouchi said defensively. "And don't even try ta pretend ya weren't starin' at my ass."  
  
"I may have caught a brief look because you were wriggling it around in the air, but I didn't-"  
  
"Yeah ya did," Jounouchi interrupted.  
  
"I..." Kaiba started, flustered.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I don't mind," Jounouchi said, then ducked his head in embarassment. He filled the pitcher with water and then stuck the roses in. "Thanks, by the way."  
  
"For what?"  
  
Jounouchi smiled and looked at Kaiba. "The roses, of course."  
  
"Oh. You're welcome," Kaiba said abruptly. He watched Jounouchi for a moment, who was smiling and blushing just a little bit. "Puppy... I--I don't think you're useless. I used to get angry with you, and I didn't understand why, and I said things... that weren't true."  
  
Jounouchi didn't respond for a moment, then asked with genuine curiousity "Do ya understand why now?"  
  
"Yes, I do. I--I've been thinking, you see. Well, of course I've been thinking, I always--what I mean to say is-what?"  
  
"What what?"  
  
"You're grinning like a damned jack-o-lantern. What's so funny?"  
  
"Yer flustered," Jou explained. Kaiba glared. "Sorry," Jou continued, "it's just I've neveh seen ya flustered before. Uh... what were you sayin'? You'd been tinkin' about sometin' lately?"  
  
"About why you made me angry."  
  
"And?" Jounouchi asked, a bit nervously.  
  
Kaiba took a deep breath. He had practiced this at home--something he would never admit to a single soul--but it didn't really make it any easier. His fists clenched and with great effort, Kaiba managed to force out:"You made me feel, something I've avoided all my life."   
  
Jounouchi stared at him, his heart pounding like a rampaging herd of elephants. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I... like you."  
  
And suddenly, Kaiba was glomped with an inch of his life. Jounouchi covered him with chaste little kisses, then dropped back and stared up at him impishly.  
  
"I like you too."  
  
Kaiba smiled. 


End file.
